An old Jewish American folk tale tells the story of a small village that had three synagogues one Orthodox, one Conservative and one Reform. The people of the town suffered from a terrible plague of rats. It was bad enough when the rats infested the people's homes, but soon they were running around in the synagogues during prayers, and that was truly terrible. So the town's Jews convened, each congregation separately in their own synagogue, to debate the problem. The Orthodox Jews concluded that this was God's will. "There is no choice," the Orthodox rabbi said. "We will just have to live with it." The Conservative congregation also debated the problem and decided to act responsibly toward the environment while incorporating the rat problem into their social activities. They got together every Shabbat and trapped the rats. They would then take the rats in their traps to a park outside of town, and release them there into the wild. Within two days, the rats would be back to the synagogue and the process would begin anew. But the Reform congregation, well, they debated long and hard. They raised these arguments and those arguments, and finally decided to accept the rats as full members of the congregation. Ever since, the rats only show up at the synagogue once a year on Yom Kippur. Many of us Israelis like these kinds of jokes. The Reform and Conservative Jews are a negligible minority in Israel. It is easy for us to laugh at people when we do not know them. But sometimes, we do know them. Israelis living in the United States, for example. When we do know them is when the problem arises. Because when people are nearby, the stigmas we apply get us into trouble. That is precisely what happened to me when I attended a relative's bat mitzvah with several of my Orthodox relatives. It was a Conservative event, and when we left we each said that we had plenty to learn. * * * Several days ago, Rabbi Yuval Cherlow, one of the original, prominent rabbis in Israel's religious Zionist camp, wrote a few words to his students. He suggested re-examining the state's attitude toward the non-Orthodox streams of Judaism. It is important to be precise here: He wasn't referring to religious recognition of these streams. He was talking about state recognition. Ever since Cherlow's remarks became public, he has been under attack again and again. He was even attacked by people who ostensibly share his more liberal views. Certain religious figures began using the ultimate insult: Reform. One man referred to him as "the real threat to Judaism." As far as the ultra-Orthodox are concerned, he is not even a rabbi. Do orthodox traditions always look better than those of the Reform Jews- Let's think about that for a moment: Several years ago, rabbis from all streams of Judaism gathered at a forested resort in Transylvania to debate the perils of smoking. During one of the breaks, a local reporter for a popular Transylvanian newspaper who was covering the event happened upon rabbis from all three streams sitting together and smoking cigarettes. She asked the Reform rabbi: "You spoke at length about the dangers of smoking. Why are you now smoking yourself-" The Reform rabbi replied: "We are people of progress. We are not bound by outdated concepts." "And what's your explanation-" she asked the Conservative rabbi. "I am re-examining the outdated concepts," he said. "And what about you? Why are you smoking-" she asked the Orthodox rabbi. "Me-" he replied. "I sold my lungs to a goy." * * * More than half a century after the Holocaust, the Jewish people have not yet made up for the loss. Every day, Jews assimilate and are lost. There are places where Jewish heritage is kept alive only thanks to the non-Orthodox communities. In the meantime, just under half of the world's entire Jewish population lives in Israel. We are surrounded by varying threats, ranging from terror to complete annihilation. More than a billion Muslims believe that the world would be a better place if we weren't in it. And what does Israel's Chief Rabbinate conclude from all this? They reject people who want to convert to Judaism with all kinds of bizarre and baseless arguments. Is it any wonder that more and more Orthodox Jews no longer completely rule out the Conservative and Reform movements- In the past, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef (Shas' spiritual leader) ruled that Conservative conversions are conducted in a more stringent manner than Orthodox conversions. So perhaps Cherlow was being too gentle- Are the differences between the various streams usually significant? Certainly. Let's take the marriage ceremony, for example. Question: What is the difference between an Orthodox, Conservative and Reform wedding? In an Orthodox wedding, the mother of the bride is pregnant. In a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. In a Reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant. There are, however, many instances where the differences are entirely insignificant. Like those two rabbis, one Orthodox and one Reform, who used to spend their weekends gambling and racing cars. The Reform rabbi realized that before every race the Orthodox rabbi approached one of the cars, whispered something in the driver's ear and that car always won. The Reform rabbi started betting on the cars that the Orthodox rabbi approached and began winning big. Until one day, the Orthodox rabbi whispered something to one of the drivers, the Reform rabbi bet all his money on that car and lost. After the race, the Reform rabbi went to the Orthodox rabbi and demanded an explanation. "How is it that every time you approached a car and whispered a blessing that car won, and this time it lost-" he asked. The Orthodox rabbi replied: "That's the problem with you Reform Jews. You can't tell the difference between a blessing and kaddish (a prayer for the dead)." Now the question is whether we are able to recognize the reality in which these clashes are sentencing us to death. How can it be that we still don't realize that these rejections are a luxury we can't afford? How- One small thing Rabbi Amnon Yitzhak established a political party. He then gave an interview to the media and announced that he plans to vote for a different party. Does Amnon know something about Yitzhak that we don't know- And one last thing This week, an advertisement aired offering a course in which, "educational professionals are trained to explain how to avoid using pornographic websites." Could this be the first course ever to teach how not to do something-
