Suddenly, for one brief moment, the pope's head was exposed. The strong wind blew his white zucchetto off. (From the looks of this kippah-like headwear, it appears that the rumors must be true: The pope is in fact a Breslov Hassid). Sadly, none of the kippah-wearing Israeli politicians were on hand to present His Holiness with a bobby pin to fasten his zucchetto to his head. The biggest experts on all things kippah are, what can you do, the kippah wearers. But it was the kippah wearers, of all people, who played hooky from some of the ceremonies during the pope's visit. It's a shame, because great efforts were made to win over the pope while he was here, and the kippah wearers could have easily provided the pope with essential assistance that he could not have received anywhere else. After all, our experience with kippah is incomparable. Just to scratch the surface, I will explain that there are three main schools of thought: those who fasten with a snap clip, those who affix a piece of Velcro to the bottom of the kippah (which could run the risk of tearing out a few hairs here and there), and the old-fashioned ones who use bobby pins. Of course there are additional methods, but they are less prevalent, like suction cups (only for the completely bald), or a previously untried method that I would love to see: a thumbtack. In any case, as a farewell gift to Pope Francis (his predecessor once called the Jews the eldest brother of Christianity, and eldest brothers have a responsibility toward their younger siblings) here is a story about a girl who wore a head covering: Little Red Riding Hood was walking in the woods when she suddenly saw the wolf sitting alongside the footpath. Little Red Riding Hood looked at the wolf and said, "Dear wolf, what big ears you have!" The wolf did not respond. Instead he ran away. Little Red Riding Hood continued walking in the woods when suddenly, she spotted the wolf again, sitting alongside the footpath. "Dear wolf, what big teeth you have!" she said. Instead of responding, the wolf leapt from his seat and fled. Little Red Riding Hood continued to walk among the trees when she saw the wolf a third time. "Dear wolf," she said again, "what squinty eyes you have!" "You are intolerable," the wolf screamed. "Can't a wolf crap in the woods in peace-" Don't give up About 40 terrorists, some of them murderers, are currently staging a hunger strike. They are demanding to be released from prison. This is the time to show them our support and say: We are with you! Go all the way! Don't give up, don't give in, don't agree to compromises! If someone tries to tempt you to take a bite of something -- don't cave in! Go all the way. Show some respect Let us go back to the pope's visit: His presence in Israel provided an opportunity for a grand showing of Israeli hypocrisy. The same people who always attach a derogatory remark to the title "rabbi"; newscasters who scoff at religious ceremonies -- everyone was in genuine awe of every move the pope made, be it the tiniest gesture. Reporters who habitually deride the "rabbi" title insisted on calling the pope the "Holy See" on all the channels, in all the newscasts. Always "holy". I saw a news presenter, who once made fun of the robe worn by the Sephardi chief rabbi, ogling the robe worn by the chairman of the Vatican. As a side note, let there be no doubt: The pope's views are no less ignorant than those of any of the Jewish zealots from Mea Shearim, and far more than those of the Zionist rabbis. So these volunteer pope promoters, these reporters and newscasters, put an emphasis on Francis' humility. The constant dwelling on his humility reminded me of my late grandfather who once described a certain politician as "very, very proud of his humility." One of the manifestations of the pope's supposed humility was the enormous posters depicting his image posted along the streets of Jerusalem. One of the newscasters said that these posters made her feel like she was abroad. Let us think for a moment how the same newscaster would have reacted if the posters had depicted the images of rabbis (and no, that is not something that I would like to see). And still, just to help us understand this a little better, and since I already mentioned my late grandfather, here is a question he once posed: When a circumcision is performed, and the baby is brought to the venue, every prayer book says that he should be welcomed with a blessing. But after the ceremony, the baby is taken away without a blessing. Why- And the answer is that when a baby is brought in for the ceremony, before he is circumcised, he is not yet completely Jewish, so we treat him with respect. But after the ceremony is complete, he is completely Jewish, so there is no reason to show respect. Come on, get him out of here so we can go to the buffet. Really- "And I say this with total humility" (Amnon Abramovich, Channel 2 News, on Wednesday). Look who's talking. Let us begin with a story that happened somewhere. An American, an Englishman and a Romanian were sentenced to death by firing squad. When the guards came to take them to be executed, the American whispered to the Englishman and the Romanian: "look and listen to me. When your turn comes, do as I do and you will live." The American faced the firing squad. The soldiers lifted their weapons, aimed, and then the American screamed "tsunami, tsunami." A commotion erupted and the American managed to flee. When things settled down, the Englishman was to be executed. He waited for the last minute and then yelled "flood, flood." Again a commotion erupted, and the Englishman managed to get away. Then came the Romanian's turn. He too waited for the last minute and then yelled "fire, fire." Two states, Wyoming and Utah, began debating last week whether to allow capital punishment by firing squad. Until now, both states administered capital punishment by lethal injection. But some legislators now believe that the firing squad option needs to be explored. Supporters argue that no additional manpower would be required, as the wardens are already there and they already have guns and ammunition. They need the practice anyway. Meanwhile, the poison used in lethal injections is becoming pricier and pricier, it is in short supply, and there has already been an instance where it wasn't entirely lethal -- the inmate remained alive after receiving the injection. Therefore, the representatives of these two states are proposing that with a firing squad they could achieve better results while saving money. And I checked: The discussion of the topic in Wyoming began precisely when the White House spokesperson told reporters that the U.S. urges Israel to investigate the deaths of two Palestinian protesters in Beitunia. So, yes, it is true that there is a distinction between criminals and protesters. But a country where people are executed (and where authorities shoot at protesters and at anyone caught crossing the border), should think twice before urging others to investigate deaths Not to mention what went on in the same U.S., during the Wild West era. In one of the towns, a criminal was sentenced to death. They set up the gallows in the center of town, dragged the criminal to the noose and wrapped it around his neck. The hangman tightened the noose, but suddenly, the criminal screamed at the top of his lungs. The hangman loosened the rope and asked, "Why are you screaming-" "Stop right now," said the criminal. "That is a choking hazard."
The holy hat
מערכת ישראל היום
מערכת "ישראל היום“ מפיקה ומעדכנת תכנים חדשותיים, מבזקים ופרשנויות לאורך כל שעות היממה. התוכן נערך בקפדנות, נבדק עובדתית ומוגש לציבור מתוך האמונה שהקוראים ראויים לעיתונות טובה יותר - אמינה, אובייקטיבית ועניינית.
