Where is the justice?

The stereotypes we hold are quite awful. A few people fired gunshots on a house inhabited by disabled folks in north Tel Aviv. Right away, neighborhood residents are blamed, with people wondering how in the world something like that could happen in an area filled with the enlightened ones of north Tel Aviv.

A closer look at the situation, however, reveals that they, the northerners, can't be blamed, because while those shots were fired, all of the locals were at the demonstration against the deportation of Sudanese and Eritreans from south Tel Aviv.

At the same time, residents of north Tel Aviv are waging a campaign against the opening of kindergartens that are supposed to absorb a few children of infiltrators from Sudan and Eritrea.

This is a terrible injustice. Sending Sudanese and Eritrean kids to the neighborhood of those who are fighting against their deportation? Why there of all places? The good people from north Tel Aviv are fighting for the infiltrators, yet it is they who ultimately end up with them? The Sudanese kids are being sent there, of all places. Where's the justice-

There's nothing like it

The government of Denmark decided to ban kosher slaughter due to the cruelty involved in the process. That same week, somebody in Denmark decided it was a good idea to slaughter a cute giraffe because it did not fit in genetically with the zoo's plans to multiply the giraffe population.

Indeed, the fact that these two events happened in the same week is not necessarily evidence of hypocrisy, but it does pose a problem -- and a solution. Not many people know, but giraffes are kosher animals. It's even mentioned in the Bible. On the list of kosher animals, the Hebrew word "zemer" appears. It is the Hebrew word for giraffe. The famous Israeli songwriter Yaakov Orland wrote the tune "Hayu Leylot" ("Those Were the Nights"), with the lyrics: "Hu haya az tzair, u'gavoha k'zemer" (He was young then, and as tall as a giraffe).

Back to Denmark. Since it is not permitted to slaughter cows, but it is okay to slaughter giraffes, then the Jews living there just need to start getting used to the taste of giraffes. One can only imagine the size of the portion for whoever orders a stuffed neck.

This brings us to the zoo in Qalqilya, where a father recently took his son for a visit. The two walked around and took in the animals in their cages. Near each cage, the boy asked his father what kind of animal was there. "This is a lion," he answered. "This is a tiger." "This is a monkey," etc.

Then they reached the cage holding the giraffe. The boy asked what it was, and the father observed for a minute. The legs weren't the same length. It had strange horns on its head. And its neck was endless.

The father thought long and hard before telling his son: "You see this animal-"

"Yes," said the boy.

"This thing, there is nothing like it."

The fish of Romania

This week, the Romanian parliament discussed a bill that would give dolphins equal rights as humans. Those who hunt dolphins would be punished as if they had hunted a human being. Eating dolphins would be tantamount to cannibalism. Dolphin shows or exhibitions would only be permitted if they gave their consent. That's right, if the dolphins gave their consent. Are we different from them-

On the outskirts of a Jewish cemetery in Vienna, one can find a tombstone with a small statue of a fish attached to it. It is "the grave of a fish who recited the Shema Yisrael." Underneath the tombstone is buried a fish that was bought by a Jewish family seeking to use it for gefilte fish over a century ago. The woman who was making the fish was about to begin the process of mashing up the fish, but, just before, the fish began to recite the prayer.

The woman went to the rabbi of Vienna, who ruled that the fish was to live out its life naturally. Afterward, it would be buried in a Jewish cemetery. There are Jews to this day who make pilgrimages to the grave site to pay their respects.

In any event, since Romania is known as a country that is ahead of its time compared to the rest of the world, it seems that our fish-eating habits are about to change. A similar problem was encountered by a student of Vilna Gaon, Rabbi Yehezkel Feivel. The rabbi was once informed that the fishermen were engaged in price gouging. The rabbi announced that if the prices do not drop, he will ban the eating of fish. The fishermen ignored him, and the rabbi made the announcement.

Once the fishermen saw that nobody was buying fish, they went to the rabbi, begging him to lift the edict. The rabbi refused.

The fishermen left his home despondent. Then, the rabbi called to them and said: "You should know, the ban also applies to you. Be careful that you also do not eat the fish."

Tripping over themselves

In recent days, the haredi press has been filled with headlines along the lines of "Remember what Netanyahu did to you." The headline conjures up the famous phrase "Remember what Amalek did to you on the way as you came out of Egypt." The suggestion is that Netanyahu is Amalek, the killer of Jews.

This is the vulgar discourse that we are seeing on a daily basis. Only this time one can find a silver lining in the analogy, because in the passages where it mentions Amalek, it also describes the Jewish people during that time: "Not in awe of God." It's harder to find a more accurate description of the haredi campaign currently being waged.

Look who's talking

Two days ago, one of the radio stations interviewed former Shas MK Shlomo Benizri, a convicted criminal who went to jail for bribery as well as other offenses. He was sentenced to four years in prison. During that interview, the criminal complained that there wasn't enough integrity in Israeli politics.

A day before Benizri was interviewed, the man who could only be considered his spiritual teacher, Aryeh Deri, also spoke to the press. Deri talked about Karnit Flug, the governor of the Bank of Israel.

"In a normal country, Flug would have been fired," he said.

How do we say this gently? In a normal, functioning country, a convicted criminal wouldn't be in parliament. Deri has been convicted of bribery, fraud, and other offenses.

Bewildering, right? George Carlin put it accurately when he said: "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."

An impassioned plea

Hello to you, Professor Dan Shechtman's neighbors. Could you perhaps lower the volume on the music-

טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו