Some eulogies for Arik Einstein were embarrassing. Quite a few of the people who eulogized him were really talking about themselves. Here is one example. "When I finished basic training in the Airborne Nahal unit, Arik Einstein came to perform for us on the base. During the performance, I got an offer to join the Nahal Troupe with Arik and the other members, but in my naivete, I just wanted to be a big, brave combat soldier. To this day I wonder whether that was the mistake of my life," said Arye Carmon, who heads an odd organization known as the Israel Democracy Institute.
One after another, they stood in front of the cameras and talked about Einstein's modesty. Quite a few of them are the heads of public companies who draw enormous salaries.
That reminds me of a story from the book "Ma'asim she-hayu be-irenu" ("Stories from our city").
"One day, a rich Jewish man named Mordechai visited Rabbi Moishe Berman and told him: 'My father died and I didn't have time to attend the funeral. So I hired another Jew to attend instead of me.'
"'All right. What is your question-' asked the rabbi.
"Mordechai went on. 'Look, Rabbi, I also didn't have the strength to start saying kaddish, so I hired another Jew to say kaddish for my father instead of me.'
"'I understand,' said Rabbi Berman. 'So what is your question-'
"Mordechai explained. 'Just a moment. I had urgent business to take care of and couldn't sit shiva. So I hired another Jew to sit shiva for me.'
"'All right, I understand,' said Rabbi Berman. 'What is your question-'
"'Well,' said Mordechai, 'this is my question. Do I need to pay him a condolence call while he is sitting shiva-'"
When people spoke this week about Arik Einstein's modesty, they were not talking about him. They were talking about us -- about how we had the opportunity to be different from the way we are -- and missed it.
The way it seemed, the mourning was not for Einstein, but for ourselves. We were not mourning for Arik Einstein, but for everything we could have been and were not.
Look who's talking
This week, the British police released women who had been in prison for decades. They stated, as an incidental matter, that according to their estimate, there are 6,000 women imprisoned in the United Kingdom. That does not happen even in the most remote countries in Africa. So how dare they preach morals to others-
I believe
The Iranians announced that the agreement that the Americans made public was not accurate. It is uncomfortable to say who is more believable.
From Oman to the Golan Heights
The ruler of the Sultanate of Oman, south of Saudi Arabia, is Sultan Qaboos bin Said Al Said, a 70-year-old bachelor. He seized power when an army unit that was loyal to him imprisoned the previous ruler, who happened to be his own father. Since then, he has surrounded himself with heavy security; after all, he was the one who removed the previous ruler from power. His personal guard numbers 700 men whom reporters describe as "extraordinary good-looking."
Onward. The law in Oman stipulates harsh prison sentences for sexual relations between members of the same gender. Nobody would find that unusual in the Muslim world if the ruler himself were not an almost-declared homosexual.
In the past, the sultan's sexual preference was considered an intelligence secret, but it leaked out in recent years. The accepted theory is that just like deposed Libyan President Moammar Gadhafi's women bodyguards, some of the sultan's guards do more than their official job description states. As if that were not enough, in the past, it was claimed that the sultan received "access" -- that is how official diplomatic letters described it -- to boys in exchange for certain decisions.
All this is an introduction to an item that the American newspapers reported about the sultan of Oman over the past few days. It seems that U.S. President Barack Obama held secret talks with Iran that he kept hidden from Israel. These secret talks between the Americans and the Iranians took place in Oman at the sultan's initiative and with his mediation.
Since suspicious information about what the sultan received for his initiative was already made public in the past, it would be fitting to get a clarification about it from the White House, just so we could be sure that nobody in the White House played a fatherly role for the sultan of Oman -- in Israeli terms, that is. I simply want there to be no doubt that the president did not do for the sultan of Oman what Eyal Golan's father allegedly did for his son.
This takes us back to the heyday of Vlad Tepes -- better known as Vlad the Impaler, or Dracula, the ruler of Transylvania. One day, three women who had been arrested for prostitution were brought before him for judgment.
As Dracula sat on his throne between two bodyguards, the first woman was brought before him.
"What do you do for a living-" Dracula asked her.
"Sire, I am only a saleswoman in a shop," she said.
"Liar!" shouted Dracula. "We both know the truth. From now on, you must give half your profits to me."
The first woman was removed from the hall, and the second woman was brought before him.
"And what do you do for a living-" asked Dracula.
The woman answered, "Your Majesty, I work as a nude dancer in a tavern."
Dracula said, "We both know that you are lying as well. But since your words are closer to the truth, you will pay me only one-third of your profits."
The third woman was brought before him. Dracula asked her: "And what do you do for a living-"
The woman said, "Sire, I work as a prostitute."
Dracula turned to the others in the hall. "Get out of here," he told them. Then, turning to the woman, he said, "As for you -- wait for me in the back room."
Of two minds
According to recent reports, a gene has been discovered that increases the risk of schizophrenia among Ashkenazi Jews. Or, as Shimon Peres says, "Yes, and no."
טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו