Torah Portion of the Week: Honor and its discontents

I remember the nostalgic days. I would never sit in dad's chair. Never! And when dad spoke, I never interrupted him. That was ages ago. When my mother said something I disagreed with I had to find the right moment to tell her about my disagreement.

I remember an incident. I was in the fourth grade and I addressed my teacher improperly. My mother was called to the school, and they made a big deal out of it. I truly believe that today I would be awarded a gift by the "Academy of Manners and Good Behavior" for the way I addressed my teacher back then. In light of that incident, do the concepts of "all for one" and "we are all brothers" really indicate open-mindedness and enlightenment? When social frameworks are destroyed, and hierarchies are breached, is that the correct indication of how deep the concepts of equality and unity are in a society-

I feel as if the concept of "honor" no longer exists here in Israel. What caused it to disappear? Perhaps the lack of honor is a response to too much honor. Not really too much honor, but rather virtual, false, or non-authentic honor.

This Shabbat we will read the portion of "Balak" in the Torah. The king of Moab asks Bilam, a well-known prophet who had some proven successes, to gather his weapons ("with magic in his hands," Leviticus 22:7) and curse Israel. Apparently, they were able to develop non-conventional weapons in ancient times as well.

Bilam ignores the request until Balak adds: "I will send many and more honorable officials," and even promises him, "I will honor you greatly." Balak offered Bilam more honor than he had ever been given in the past. Bilam replied, "Even if Balak would grant me his entire home and all the wealth he has, I still could not violate the word of my G-d to do anything greater or lesser than what my heart has told me to do."

But, despite that, as soon as he was given a large sum of money, he agreed to curse Israel. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, who lived in Germany, and was known as the "master of manners," interpreted the verses as follows: "The more he seemed to pursue honor, the more he revealed that in actuality it was wealth that was more important to him." Bilam defined honor in terms of wealth. Despite the fact that he says that even if he was given an entire homestead with all the wealth therein, he could not violate G-d's words, he still proves in the end that, to him, wealth was above all else.

That's how honor became virtual, until, in Ethics of the Fathers, Rabbi Eliezer the Kafir (antagonist) said: "Jealousy, lust, and honor remove one from this world." What do these three attributes have in common-

Jealousy, lust, and honor are negative attributes that reside in people who believe that the world revolves around them. They are in the center, and the world surrounds them. It's total egoism ("altruism" in some languages). Judaism tries to remove man from his narrow world view. Many Torah commandments require man to do good for his fellow man, and place giving and Jewish law above all else. A man driven by jealousy, lust, and honor cannot be part of humanity because he sees himself as greater than this world. The world was created to serve only him, his wants, and his inclinations. That is how the Ramhal, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto, explains Bilam's behavior: "Honor drives one on negatively, because he cannot see himself lower than his friends."

An opposite approach to "virtual honor" is given in another Mishna (section) in the Ethics of the Fathers: "Who is honorable? He who honors G-d's creations." This means that honor is seeing every person as worthy of being listened to, and worthy of great love. This is emphasized by the Torah when it defines the relationship between parent and child, using the term "honor," as in "Honor thy father and thy mother." Parents need not do anything to receive that honor. They always care for their children before themselves, and for this, they are worthy of honor.

Like they told us when we were children: "He who runs away from honor, honor will pursue him."

טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו