Rebuild the families' trust

The crisis that arose after special coordinator for the Prime Minister's Office for hostages and missing persons Col. (res.) Lior Lotan resigned last week put one of the most sensitive issues for Israeli society back in the headlines: hostages and the missing.

Lotan did not tell the public why he decided to resign. A statement the Prime Minister's Office put out in his name said that the job was a demanding one both professionally and personally, so the person who holds it should be replaced every few years. On the other hand, the family of Lt. Hadar Goldin, who was killed in Operation Protective Edge in 2014 and whose remains are being held captive by Hamas, said that Lotan had resigned because he had no support from the upper echelon and every one of his ideas fell on deaf ears. "They shot him [Lotan] in the back," Goldin's mother, Leah, said.

The Goldin family's anger is understandable. For the three years since the Gaza campaign ended, they have been demanding that their son's body be brought back to Israel for burial. The family of Staff Sgt. Oron Shaul, who was also killed in the 2014 operation, wants an end to the saga. Both families bitterly regret that at the time, they accepted the IDF chief rabbi's determination that their sons were dead and the decision to declare them fallen soldiers. "If they were missing, rather than fallen, they would have been brought home long ago," Leah Goldin said.

Her words should cause the decision-makers some discomfort, and cannot be dismissed as just a bereaved mother's anger. A stalwart society is critical when it comes to hostages and MIAs. The enemy -- in this case, Hamas -- exploits schisms to jack up the price. As hard as it is to use a "price list" in cases like these, a live captive cannot be viewed the same as a body. If in the future families refuse to acknowledge their sons as fallen soldiers and continue to live in doubt, Israel will be made to pay a heavier price for their return.

The Shamgar committee, appointed following the 2006 capture of soldier Gilad Schalit by Hamas, was asked to put an end to this debate and set clear guidelines for prisoner exchange deals, the main thrust of which was an equation of one prisoner for one prisoner and one body for one body. The committee's recommendations were never adopted, and in effect were never even seriously discussed. Defense Minister Avigdor Lieberman backs the Shamgar report, while others think that Israel must not commit to decisions it cannot effectively uphold.

Both approaches are legitimate. We must discuss them, and most importantly, work out a clear policy that includes the steps Israel can take to hasten a solution. The current situation in which families lose their faith is the worst of all worlds: It leads to a crisis of values and could develop into public pressure, from which only Hamas would benefit.

Such pressure could include not only the Goldin and Shaul families, but also the family of Avera Mengistu, one of three Israeli citizens currently in Hamas captivity. The Ethiopian Israeli community, which already feels discriminated against, would obviously join the struggle to free Mengistu given their openly voiced feeling that if Mengistu were someone else, from a wealthier or better-connected community, the government would be rushing to free him.

To prevent such a scenario, Israel must take immediate steps to rebuild the families' fractured trust. We must appoint an experienced, knowledgeable, and sensitive negotiator to serve as a sympathetic ear as well as a liaison and a point of access and who will include them in deliberations and decision. The unwritten iron rule in Israel is that we don't argue with bereaved parents, who have lost what was dearest to them, but this doesn't mean that we have to agree with them or do everything they demand. On the other hand, the convention that Israel will "do anything" to bring back its missing and fallen must mean something for those who fought, and even more so, for those who will be sent into battle in the future.

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