It took 24 hours to discover something that was obvious from the outset -- the story of how Spain was willing to hand out citizenship to the descendants of Jews expelled from the country during the Inquisition was a bluff. With a collapsing economy and a 26 percent unemployment rate, the Spaniards have no intention of bringing over the needy of Israel. Instead, they want to entice the rich -- those who know how to make money -- so that they will bring their money with them.
Five hundred years after the Inquisition, and without a significant Jewish presence to speak of, poverty-stricken Spain is today still one of the more anti-Semitic countries in all of Europe. The attempt to attract Jews stems from the widespread, anti-Semitic stereotype that equates Jews with money. A lot of money.
This anti-Semitic myth, however, has two sides. Take stock of the following passage:
"A boat loaded with barrels of wine was on the high seas when a hungry whale approached. The captain took a barrel and tossed it in the whale's mouth, but this failed to sate it. The captain then threw one of the gentile crew into the whale's mouth. It still was not sated. The captain tossed a Jew into the whale's mouth. Immediately it was satisfied and swam away.
"Days later, the whale was hunted. The hunters brought the creature to shore, sliced open its stomach, and discovered a Jew selling wine to a gentile." (Alter Druyanov)
More on foreign passports
In the meantime, the Spaniards created a new, global trend. They have begun competing with others to see who can offer more enticing conditions to Israelis hoping to get a foreign passport.
The first was the Eritrean government, which announced that it would grant an Eritrean passport to anyone who succeeded in proving that their family originated from north Tel Aviv and that at least one of their parents was a subscriber to Haaretz.
Like the Spaniards, the Eritrean government also released a list of names that could indicate whether one's roots lie in north Tel Aviv. The names are: Din, Shon, Tom, Yam, Nahar, Tzuf, Azdarkat, Ruah, and Schnauzer.
Who was the man-
Two days ago, MK Hilik Bar was quoted on the radio as saying that "there is no right wing in Israel, only extreme right."
Let us now move on to the really disturbing question: Who is MK Hilik Bar-
Why this happened
Even now, they still can't comprehend what hit them. The screams and the curses from the ultra-Orthodox protest last weekend are indicative of this. Just moments after they compared the country's leaders to mass murderers of Jews, those same speakers are now crying "incitement" and "anti-Semitism" without letting the facts confuse them.
They could have continued with their fictitious budgets to the yeshivas and allowed the money to flow as it has been doing for years, with the funds allocated to those who were capable of providing for themselves and their children while evading national service. A large majority of Israelis would have been willing to look the other way.
This reality, however, was upended for one reason that isn't being discussed: arrogance. What brought down the ultra-Orthodox in the end was the brazenness and the "me, myself, I" attitude they displayed.
For years, those who received government subsidies and handouts, particularly from the "Lithuanian" wing of religious Judaism, demonstrated a patronizing, callous disregard for those who sacrificed for them. The heads of the ultra-Orthodox parties and those who for no reason are referred to as "sage rabbis" never uttered one word of gratitude to those who financed them. Instead, they cursed at them, denied the Jewishness of those who did not wear black hats, and hurled epithets at them. The ultra-Orthodox press refrained from referring to Zionist yeshivas as "yeshivas" while any rabbi who was not haredi was no longer a "rabbi."
After years of arrogance and stubbornness, they now wonder how they have lost the support of those who wear knitted skullcaps.
Most Israelis would have looked the other way in the face of draft-dodging and fictitious enrollment figures. They even would have ignored the besmirching of Judaism by those who have made Judaism a means to attain material ends (which from a religious standpoint is an abomination). But to be on the receiving end of insults and patronizing treatment? And then to arrogantly claim that whoever is not haredi owes them something?
This insufferable arrogance and patronizing attitude always crossed the line. Those ungrateful ones who received money and instead of saying thanks spit on those who served in the army and worked for a living and for their welfare -- this is what brought them down.
The price that may need to be paid as a result of excessive arrogance can be understood from a story about the eternal head of Transylvania, Vlad the Impaler, also known as Count Dracula.
Dracula loved to read and had a large library in his castle. One day, Dracula noticed an interesting book on a high shelf. He tried to reach for it, but it was too high.
One of Dracula's doctors, a very tall man, asked: "Your Highness, do you need help-"
"Of course not," Dracula replied. "Where did you get the idea that you could help me-"
"Your Highness," replied the doctor proudly, "I'm taller than you by a full head."
Dracula looked at the doctor. "We can fix that immediately," he said.
Back to the race for a passport
• It isn't just a Spanish passport. Whoever manages to prove that their forefathers ate aspic will receive an Ashkenazi passport.
• Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why is there a Spanish (Sephardi in Hebrew) passport and not an Ashkenazi one-
• The French government announced that it would grant citizenship to anyone who can prove that he or his parents lived in Netanya.
• The Romanian government announced that whoever can steal a Romanian passport will get preference.
• The Polish government announced that whoever says that their forefathers lived in a castle with servants will himself receive service.
• The British government announced that it will give citizenship to certain people under certain conditions. Or it won't.
• Hamas announced that it would grant Gazan citizenship to all members of Peace Now, Machsom Watch, Yesh Gvul, the readers of Haaretz, and those who listen to the music of Eran Tzur. It has begun to print out the eight passports.
• The Russian government announced that it would grant a preferred customer membership to all supermarket cashiers.
• Hafez Assad announced that he would die for anyone willing to get their hands on a Syrian passport.
A lesson in logic
A: The Little Prince would examine where the stars were headed, and then he would command them to go there.
B: Erdogan demands that Israel lift the siege from Gaza as a precondition to the normalization of relations.
C: There is no siege on Gaza.
The conclusion: Erdogan is the Little Prince.
טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו