Let us go to the latest development: The infiltrators are threatening to start a hunger strike.
You know what? Let them go for it.
Why? Because we have had it up to here with the lies and the demagoguery and the cheap propaganda. You broke into our home illegally. For that, the United States sends infiltrators to prison and opens fire on the border. Australia banishes them to a remote island. And you are demonstrating against us-
Is that how you thought you would convince us to meet you halfway-
So here is the answer: We do not believe a word you say. Even before this week's demonstrations, your web of lies had already been exposed. After them, it is doubtful that a single bleeding-heart liberal still believes you.
We can also look at it this way: If we are such awful racists, as the signs you carry in the demonstrations this week say we are, then the first thing we should do is run you, and all the infiltrators, out of here. They should not have to suffer being around such racist types as we are. They deserve better than to live with scum like us.
But you care nothing about the State of Israel. You have nothing but contempt for it. You smart-alecks and eye-rollers did us a big favor by organizing the work migrants' demonstrations in front of the foreign embassies. When you did that, you showed everyone who you are: Israel-haters and slanderers.
Just recently, the writers of your neighborhood rag, Haaretz, said that Jewish settlement was racist. They were not talking about settlement in Judea and Samaria, but in the Galilee and the Negev. The United Nations revoked the resolution equating Zionism with racism more than 20 years ago, but what do they know? At the very same time, you also demand that Israel get out of Judea and Samaria to protect its identity as a Jewish country. But wait -- didn't you just say that a Jewish state was inherently racist-
And even as we need to get out of Judea and Samaria to protect the country's Jewish character, you demand that we take in tens of thousands of Sudanese people. Whom do you think you are fooling? For years, there has been a chorus of shouting: "Money for the city neighborhoods, not for the settlements." But when it comes to the Sudanese, it seems that the city neighborhoods can wait. And the restaurant owners who would rather pay the dish-washer from Eritrea two thousand shekels per month instead of paying the Israeli 10 thousand suddenly find themselves identifying with the infiltrators -- out of greed, nothing more.
We are fed up with you, your self-righteousness and eye-rolling, your sanctimoniousness, pretending and lies. On the other hand, we are grateful to you, to those who call themselves "human-rights organizations." Not that we believe a word you say. We ask only one thing of you: Keep holding the demonstrations. You never know -- there still could be people out there whom you have not managed to convince that we need to expel all the Eritreans and Sudanese.
Every time another lie by a human-rights groups is exposed (that is, as long as it does not involve someone Jewish), your representatives babble that one isolated case does not prove anything. The falsity of this claim can be seen in a story told in the writings of Rabbi Alter Druyanov:
Two people were sitting on the deck of a ship. One boasted to the other: "The big politicians know me. Beaconsfield [Benjamin Disraeli's title was Lord Beaconsfield] is a good friend of mine. So is Bismarck, even though I think he usually does not like Jews. I have many friends in the financial world, such as Rothschild from Frankfurt. Every time I go there, I stay with him and we take walks together every day."
The second man said, "Liar! You don't know Beaconsfield, Bismarck or Rothschild."
The first man got angry. "Sir, how do you know that-"
The second answered, "Because I am Rothschild, and I never saw you before in my life."
With a grave expression, the first man said, "My lord baron, perhaps you can testify to being Rothschild, but you cannot be believed about Beaconsfield and Bismarck."
Logic for beginners
Former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said that "only a foolish prime minister would not bring peace." Ehud Olmert was a prime minister ... and he did not bring peace.
Thus spake Meir Dagan
Meir Dagan said that the Jordan Valley was not vital to Israel's security.
On second thought, Jerusalem is not vital to security either.
Nor is Tel Aviv, actually.
And come to think of it, the State of Israel is not vital to national security either. Nor, by the way, is Meir Dagan.
The liars
For the millionth time, there is not a single refugee here.
Here is the reason: Israel has no border with Eritrea or Sudan. That means no one came here from Sudan or Eritrea. The migrants came from Egypt. There is not even a shred of a claim that Egypt is persecuting people from Eritrea or Sudan. So the question is not why they came from Sudan and Eritrea, but why they came from Egypt. It was not because of any persecution. They came to make more money.
Largely thanks to the demonstrations, it is doubtful that there is still a single Israeli who believes in the demagogic statement that they are refugees. Thank you very much, New Israel Fund, for funding and obtaining the placards. You did convincing work.
The heaps of lies spread by the those "human-rights groups" take us back to the days of Dracula, the ruler of Transylvania -- or, to use his real name, Vlad Tepes. Early in his rule, he announced a law banning Preferans, a popular card game, and sent his troops to enforce it in the taverns. A pertinent note: Preferans requires a minimum of two players.
One evening, several of Dracula's troops broke into a wine cellar and found three people -- a Romanian, a Roma and a Jew -- seated at a round table with playing cards spread all over the surface. The soldiers immediately ordered everyone to get up and called Istvan Barabas, the head of the secret police. Barabas arrived, slapped each of the three men and told them they would soon be impaled. The men denied that they had violated any law, saying, "We never played the game. We would not dream of it."
Barabas asked, "Then what are the cards doing here-"
The three men answered, "The cards were on the table when we got here."
Barabas said, "Swear that you did not play."
The Romanian gave his oath and was allowed to go. The Roma followed suit and was released. When the Jew's turn came, he was silent.
Barabas said, "Swear, and you will be set free."
The Jew answered, "I do not have to. After all, what are you accusing me of? That I played alone-"
Progress
This week, the attorney general began an investigation to ascertain that experiments were being performed on animals in a way that caused them no suffering. Well and good. At this rate, perhaps they will give some thought to reducing the suffering of human beings who are being experimented on -- for example, in the peace process.
A great miracle happened here
A great miracle happened this week when a woman gave birth to twins at Coca-Cola Junction. I have no idea what lifelong gift the baby girls will be getting from the Coca-Cola company, but one thing is sure: They ought to thank God that they were not born at Cristal Fluorescent-Green Mint Soda Junction.
טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו