The Ministry of Irresponsible Citizens

The time has come to establish a government ministry for dealing with irresponsible citizens. Let us take one example, himself an MK: Ariel Atias of Shas, who early this week demanded an investigation of the poor handling of the storm, which he experienced directly when he became stuck in the snow on the way to Jerusalem, and it took rescuers more than 10 hours to come and get him out.

It was cold. Freezing cold. The snow kept on falling. Lives were in danger, and people waited hours to be rescued.

There is just one problem. From early in the week, news programs broadcast warnings from the police, urging people not to travel to Jerusalem from Thursday since a terrible storm was expected and people were liable to get stuck. From Wednesday, those warnings were on nearly every news broadcast. From Thursday morning, the news broadcasters talked about it almost exclusively.

But Atias, like so many other Israelis, decided to disregard the warnings and go to Jerusalem. As expected, he got caught in the snow, and afterward complained about how long it took to get him out.

Excuse me-

You were warned countless times. So why on earth did you go? And on top of having gone into the storm despite all the warnings, you have the unmitigated gall to demand an investigation? Maybe you are the one who ought to be investigated here.

Here is a suggestion: Prosecute anyone who cannot prove he could not hear the warnings, or that he traveled to save lives or would have been dismissed from his job had he not gone.

Each one of the fools -- to put it gently -- who traveled to Jerusalem despite the warnings should have to pay for the rescue. And another thing: Before tow-truck drivers are hired to pull such people out, they should be asked to promise, in writing, that they will dent the vehicle during the rescue and scratch the paint job with a nail as well.

The attitude of people who deliberately get themselves into danger and then wait for a miracle is no different from an incident that is often attributed to American Jews, but was actually stolen from the Romanians. Yes, the Romanians. Here is the source:

One day, Rabbi Mordechai Last left his home in Cluj to hike in the forests around the city. Suddenly, an enormous bear approached him. The rabbi froze in his tracks. So did the bear.

After a few seconds, the rabbi was surprised to see the bear bow his head and begin swaying, his lips moving in a whisper. The rabbi tried to make out what the bear was saying, and heard the words, "Blessed are You, O Lord."

Rabbi Last shouted, "It is a miracle! The only Jewish bear on earth is standing before me!"

The bear raised his head, looked at the rabbi and signaled to him, with his paw, to keep quiet. The rabbi obeyed, only to hear the bear conclude his blessing: "… by whose word all things came to be."

For those who do not know, that is the blessing recited before eating meat.

Fact

It is no joke, but a fact: A rally called by the rabbinate for last Friday was canceled due to the snow. The purpose of the rally was to pray for rain.

Find the refugee

The infiltrators' escape from the holding facilities in southern Israel exposed their real motive for entering Israel illegally. They are not persecuted; they came here to make money. The state gave them not only a place to live, but also food, an allowance, and medical and social services. And, of course, refuge from persecution. But the ones who escaped declared openly that they had a single motive for doing so: They want to work.

There is a big, agreed-upon lie here that no one is talking about: There is no refugee in Israel who fled here over persecution. Not one. Here is why: The people who claim they were persecuted in their countries of origin are natives of Eritrea and Sudan. But Israel has no border with either of these countries. They came to us from Egypt. Even if we work from the false assumption that all the infiltrators from Eritrea and Sudan were persecuted in their countries of origin, there is not a shred of evidence that Egypt is persecuting Sudanese and Eritreans. None of them claims that, either.

So why did they infiltrate into Israel rather than stay in Egypt? Because people make more money in Israel than they do in Egypt.

That is what the same international conventions stipulate regarding people who are recognized as persecuted in their own countries: The duty to grant them asylum falls upon the first country they reached. For this reason, if people persecuted in Syria reach Israel's border, we have a duty to assist them, since Israel has a common border with Syria and we are the first country they reached. But Eritreans who came here via Egypt? They are work migrants, and we owe them nothing.

Ah, yes. The State Attorney's Office knows the principle of the first country of arrival well, even though its officials ignore it in their response to the High Court of Justice.

In other words, we are going back to the law coined by Bernard Shaw: "We have established what you are, Madam. We are now merely haggling over the price."

It is just like the old Jerusalem tale about the nun who went for a walk on Ben-Yehuda Street to check out the city's nightlife.

She needed to go to the bathroom. In front of her was a dark nightclub with loud music playing inside. She went in and noticed that from time to time, spotlights would light the dance floor, and every time that happened, everybody stopped dancing and started applauding enthusiastically.

The nun approached the bartender and asked, "May I use your bathroom-"

"Sure," the barman said. "I just have to warn you that in the women's bathroom is a statue of a naked man with a fig leaf over his private parts."

"That is no problem," said the nun. "I will just look the other way."

The nun hurried to the bathroom. When she came out, she noticed that the spotlights were lit and everyone had stopped dancing and was giving her enthusiastic applause.

The nun approached the bartender and asked quietly, "Why are all those people applauding-"

The barman leaned toward her with a smile. "They are happy that from now on, you are one of us."

Confused, the nun asked, "What does that mean-"

"Look," the barman told her softly. "Every time somebody lifts the fig leaf, the spotlights come on a few seconds later."

A reasonable possibility

The demonstrations of several "Torah sages" outside the prison where the yeshiva students who refused to report for army service were being held were rife with comparisons of the czarist draft decrees of the 19th century. At that time, goes the story, the czar's soldiers went into the house of study to seize young men to work in the army. The young men immediately searched for hiding places.

When two of them hid in a box under the Holy Ark, they were amazed to find the elderly head of the yeshiva. They asked, "Rabbi, you are 80 years old. Why are you afraid of the draft-"

The rabbi answered, "In case they also need someone to command the czar's entire army."

The public's assistance

Has anyone seen Moshe Lion in Jerusalem? His family is worried.

Also: Where is Al Gore ("The planet has a fever") just when we need him-

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