Damned if we do, damned if we don't

According to the United Nations, as of this week there are one million hungry children in war-torn Syria. The situation there is horrific and the photos and footage coming from Syria are appalling.

At the same time, some "social" groups claim that there are one million hungry children in Israel. The same thing, the same number.

Unlike concepts like the "poverty threshold" or "nutrition security," which are relative, stating that someone is going hungry is based on actual data on how much they have to eat. Since Syria has nearly three times as many residents as Israel (more than 22 million Syrians compared to a little over 8 million Israelis), the necessary conclusion is that the situation in Israel is worse than the situation in Syria, and not just worse but far worse than in Syria, which is in the midst of a raging civil war.

There is another possibility though, one that says that the data released by some of the social groups in Israel is, to put it mildly, bogus.

The approach best taken toward those trading in the numbers of the poor can be explained with the help of the late Rabbi Wilhelm Joachim, of Targu Mures, Transylvania. Back in the day, the rabbi was a tutor for the children of the richest Jew in town, who had made his fortune trading in non-kosher lard.

One day, the man was out walking in the street across from the synagogue when he saw Rabbi Joachim walking toward him. The wealthy man slowed down, expecting the rabbi to greet him, but the rabbi kept on going and did not say a word.

The man ran after the rabbi and said, "Isn't it right that you greet the man responsible for your livelihood-"

The rabbi answered: "And you? Do you respect those responsible for your livelihood-"

A thought

Here is a conclusion drawn from several festive, food-filled Hanukkah parties: The real miracle was that the oil did not last for more than eight days.

Accidental benefits

This week saw Israel join the U.N.'s Human Rights Council's Western European and Others nations group. This honor was bestowed upon us after Libya and Syria were previously admitted. Israel replaced Syria. The experts said that Israel might be able to gain some "accidental benefits" from the move -- maybe there will be less anti-Israeli propaganda in the council.

These "accidental benefits" are best illustrated in the writings of author Alter Druyanov: "A rich man went to visit Rabbi Moshe Sofer. The rabbi sought to show him respect and said, 'Well done for troubling yourself and coming to see me.' The man, flattered by Rabbi Moshe, answered, 'There is nothing to it. I was going to visit someone else nearby and stopped by on my way there.'

"As the rich man was getting up to leave, the rabbi got up to see him out. The man said to him, 'Well done, Rabbi, for troubling yourself to see me out.' Rabbi Moshe answered, 'There is nothing to it. I was going to the outhouse and I'll walk you out on my way there.'"

Peacemakers

Rapper Kanye West recently made some anti-Semitic remarks, blaming the Jews for U.S. President Barack Obama's failures. Two days later, the Ku Klux Klan -- the radical white-supremacist organization that hates blacks and Jews alike -- defaced several Jewish institutions. The Ku Klux Klan has been blaming the Jews for Obama's election, among other things, for quite some time.

The conclusion here is actually rather encouraging: As it turns out, the world needs us because only the Jews can make peace between the blacks and the Ku Klux Klan.

There is, however, another far-reaching conclusion that can be drawn here, which can be illustrated by an incident that took place in the U.S.:

The parents of two sons were at their wits' ends over their children's mischievous behavior. They knew that their children had been involved in every incident in school and in the neighborhood, but punishing them achieved little and threats did not seem to deter them.

One day, an acquaintance suggested that they have their priest scold the children. And so the parents asked the priest and he agreed. He arrived at the family's home that evening, sat in the living room and asked the parents to send in their youngest child first.

The boy went in, the priest closed the door behind him, and yelled, "Where is God-"

The boy turned pale but did not answer.

"Where is God-" the priest roared again.

The boy appeared paralyzed with fear, but said nothing.

The priest, livid, bellowed at the boy once more: "Where is God-"

The boy ran to his room and hid under the bed. A moment later, his brother walked into the room. "What happened-" he asked.

"Don't even ask how much trouble we're in," said the boy. "God is missing and they're blaming us for it."

The organizers

It appears that the people who organized the Bedouin demonstrations this week, over the Prawer plan, were Kahanists who were concerned that someone might believe the claim that all the Arabs want is Judea and Samaria.

We are the world

Some scientists claim that man is a hybrid of a pig and a chimpanzee -- so it is not only the Jews who are the progeny of apes and pigs.

A short letter

Dear Prime Minister,

In case you ever think about taking a trip abroad at a tycoon's expense, or spend 62 million shekels ($17.6 million) on your residence instead of the NIS 3 million ($850,000) you spend today, or throw yourself a birthday party worth millions of shekels and fly in celebrities and millionaires for it from overseas -- you had better think again.

You cannot get away with such things -- you are not Shimon Peres.

טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו