An old television interview played a starring role on the Internet this week. The interviewee, then-Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi Yona Metzger, refers to himself as "spectacular." Without a doubt, one could call this matter something to be proud of.
Unfortunately, it seems that right now, the only ones enjoying the "spectacular" sight are the prison guards. Still, we should be grateful for all the years that we enjoyed looking at him.
Metzger was chosen as chief rabbi thanks to secular votes. Most of the members of the committee that selects the chief rabbis are not religious. But the ultra-Orthodox preferred Metzger to the religious Zionist candidate of that time, Rabbi Yaakov Ariel, and they were much better than the religious Zionist camp at closing deals.
The main reason the haredim wanted Metzger was his position on the issue known as "heter mechira."
Some background: According to Jewish religious law, land within Israel's borders may not be cultivated during the sabbatical year, which falls once every seven years. Rabbi Abraham Isaac Hacohen Kook, who saw the Zionist settlement movement as a religious value, developed a mechanism that allowed Jews to cultivate the land during the sabbatical year as well. This was the "heter mechira," which allows the land to be sold to a non-Jew for the duration of that year under a trust agreement. The haredim, who felt that Zionist activity was tantamount to rebellion against God, opposed it.
Metzger agreed to go with the haredim, who ran him as a candidate for chief rabbi. All this happened even though, to put it mildly, it could be said that he was not renowned for extraordinary knowledge of Jewish religious law.
Complaints were also made about him touching men inappropriately, and there were other embarrassing matters. But the haredim, United Torah Judaism and Shas (which controlled the Interior Ministry at the time) mobilized the selection committee's secular representatives, most of whom were local-authority heads dependent on the Interior Ministry. The deal worked, Metzger became chief rabbi and made many Israelis feel proud.
This is reminiscent of an incident that took place during the Ceausescu regime in Romania. Toward the end of the era of communism, which sanctified secularism, a good Romanian citizen went to church after an absence of many years, reasoning that nobody knew what the future would bring. The priest had not arrived yet, and the man decided to wait for him in the confessional.
Once inside the booth, he was amazed to find a bar with the highest-quality liquor, cigars, a television, a video player and porn films. Suddenly, he heard the church door open. Peeking out, he saw that the priest had arrived. "Father Michailescu," he called out from the confessional, "it has been several years since my last confession and I must tell you that many things have really improved here."
Annoyed, the priest answered, "You idiot, get out of there! You went into my side!"
Something
The people in charge of the television program "Rising Star" have found a replacement for Eyal Golan: Rabbi Metzger.
Something else
If the state removes children whose parents beat them from their homes, shouldn't they also remove children whose parents see nothing wrong with them staying out all night with singers-
Maybe a girl whose mother tells her that singing off-key on stage on a reality show "is like being named a professor of medicine" should be removed from her home, too.
The bright side
Still, one good thing came out of all these arrests of rabbis: Criminals will stop wearing skullcaps to their remand hearings.
The country's darling
Rabbi Dov Halbertal is beloved by the kind of journalist who works for Haaretz. He thinks that "the settlers are a danger to the state," that settlers are to blame for anti-Israel hatred, that it is a "collective rebellion among the nations of the world," and, of course, "false messianism." But then, more of his statements were published this week. He was quoted as saying, "Women have no moral right to rule," and also said that the reason for women's increasing power is that they are more photogenic than men.
Now, what will the round-rimmed glasses set do with the revelation that the same person who opposes the settlements is also a radical chauvinist? What does one do when hatred of settlers turns out to go hand-in-hand with hatred of women-
As we reflect on this dilemma, it is fitting that we recall an incident that took place in Marosvasarhely, the most beautiful city in Transylvania, as described in the book "Maasim Shehayu Be'Irenu" ("Stories From Our City"):
"In the first debate, the priest said to Rabbi Berman-Gustman: 'Is it true that Jews are not allowed to eat pork-'
"The rabbi answered, 'Yes, it is true.'
"The priest asked: 'Does that mean you have never tasted pork-'
"The rabbi said: 'To tell the truth, I tasted pork once when I was young. It was wonderful.'
"Then Rabbi Berman-Gustman asked the priest: 'Is it true that you are not allowed to sleep with women-'
"'Yes,' said the priest.
"The rabbi asked: 'Does that mean you have never gone to bed with a woman-'
"The priest said, 'Yes. I have never slept with a woman.'
"'What a pity,' said the rabbi. 'It's a lot better than pork.'"
Let's keep quiet
Some statistics: 600,000 children in Israel suffer from violence, and 700,000-800,000 children and more than a million adults suffer from hunger. Most girls suffer from sexual harassment. There are 200,000 battered women. Half of their children suffer from violence. A million and a half Arabs claim that they are discriminated against.
One-fourth of Israelis have paid bribes. About half of us do not feel safe on the street.
Well, dear reader, it looks like you and I are the only two people who live normal lives. Let's keep quiet, so nobody notices.
Bad odor, good company
MK Yoni Chetboun put his army boots on the table. But since he did it in the Knesset, nobody smelled anything different.
טעינו? נתקן! אם מצאתם טעות בכתבה, נשמח שתשתפו אותנו