The power of the tongue

It is not entirely certain that then-Chief Justice Aharon Barak coined the phrase "everything is judiciable," but it is customary to attribute the saying to him because it goes hand in hand with the judicial approach that he inspired in the Supreme Court. More accurately, however, one could say "everything is High Court-able" or, in other words, there is no issue that the High Court of Justice cannot rule upon.

The criticism that was leveled at Barak's judicial imperialism originated mainly from the Right, and with the appointment of current Chief Justice Asher Grunis, who is perceived as having a more right-wing worldview, there was an audible sigh of relief. Many hoped that the new bench would intervene in government decisions less than Barak's court did.

But that is precisely what got on people's nerves this week: that the High Court decided not to involve itself in government decisions and to refrain from blocking the release of Palestinian terrorists.

How did it happen that intelligent people, who complained for years about the High Court of Justice's over-interference in the state's affairs, did not think that non-interference would come with a price-

Well, I have a feeling that this happened because they took too seriously the following incident, which teaches us the advantages of using one's tongue:

A delegation of 10 representatives from the town of Chelm set out in search of innovations to bring back to the town. However, some of the delegates became concerned that some of their colleagues had disappeared, due to a problematic head counting system.

A man offered to teach them to count, and the Chelm delegates gave him a gold coin. He pocketed it and said, "Each one of you will now put his tongue in the sand. Afterward, count the number of indentations in the sand and you will know how many of you there are." He then left.

The Chelm delegates were happy with their newfound knowledge, and immediately got to work. They all lay on the ground and stuck their tongues into the sand.

But the eldest of the bunch had a particularly long nose, so he made two indentations in the sand.

The men rose to their feet, and began counting the indentations very carefully. When they arrived at the number 11, they were overjoyed, saying, "There were 10 of us, and now there are 11! That means a child was born to us! Our delegation has a new member! Mazel tov!"

And the moral of the story is as follows: Sometimes the only thing one stands to gain from needless use of the tongue is a brand new idiot.

The ethnic gap

Rabbi Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman, an Ashkenazi ultra-Orthodox rabbi, issued a religious ruling this week declaring that Finance Minister Yair Lapid was in fact Amalek, one of the most reviled figures in the Bible. But according to Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, the spiritual leader of the Sephardi ultra-Orthodox party Shas, it is national-religious Jews (who wear crocheted colorful kippot, as opposed to the ultra-Orthodox black kippot) who are Amalek. The question remains: Why can't the Ashkenazim and Sephardim work out their differences already-

European heritage

During the British Mandate, at the height of the fighting between the Zionist underground Irgun and the British, Sir Alvin Barker, a British general specializing in preventing uprisings, was summoned to Palestine. It became apparent rather quickly that Barker was a rabid anti-Semite, bordering on psychotic. He made quite a few anti-Semitic remarks, of which the most famous is: "Beat the Jews where it hurts them the most -- in their pockets," a reference to the age-old anti-Semitic myth about Jews doing anything for money.

Though the British did everything in their power to suppress the Zionist uprising, it became very evident to them that their efforts could not be overseen by an anti-Semitic officer, so they sent Barker back home to England.

Many years have passed since then, and today no one in Europe feels ashamed at the use of anti-Semitic imagery. Therefore, it was particularly refreshing to find out this week that history's biggest colonialists, who, to this day, continue to hold on to the Falkland Islands, do not know what to do with the Spanish government's efforts to remove the British from Gibraltar. Spain itself holds two occupied territories in Morocco, not to mention Catalonia, and north of Spain there is the conqueror France, which refuses to negotiate with the National Liberation Front of Corsica. And there are many more examples.

This is reminiscent of another stretch of occupied land: Transylvania, in Romania. During the days of Nicolae Ceausescu, Romanian settlers occupied the land to suppress the local Hungarian culture. This occupation, too, does not pose any kind of moral dilemma for the European Union: Romania is a full member of the union.

Which brings us back to Ceausescu's life: One day, Ceausescu visited a lavish military base in the city of Targu-Mures in Transylvania. At the end of his visit, he met with prominent town figures and the base's military officers. This was during the Cold War, and Ceausescu gave a little speech on the topic.

At the end of his address, he allowed the audience to ask questions. One of the officers asked: "Are we headed toward a third world war, and will Romania be forced to take part in it-"

Ceausescu answered yes on both counts.

The officer continued to ask: "Who will be our enemy-"

Ceausescu answered that he thought that it would be China.

The audience was shocked at the reply, but then the officer came to his wits, and asked further: "The honorable comrade Ceausescu, there are more than a billion people in China. How can we possibly defeat them-"

Ceausescu answered with great satisfaction: "In modern warfare, the important thing is quality, not quantity. Here, for example, in the Middle East, five million Jews continually manage to defeat a billion Muslims time after time."

There were a few moments of dead silence, and then the head of the town's Jewish community, the late Mickey Berman, rose from his seat, asked for permission to speak, and asked in a hushed tone: "The honorable comrade Ceausescu, are you sure you have enough Jews-"

An educational project

Education Minister Shay Piron seems to think that language and arts studies are unnecessary, as are literature and history. In fact, so are the standardized Meitzav exams. There is some logic to his position: When the students do not know their own language, cannot read literature or know any history, they will not know how ignorant they have become because there will not be any standardized testing to point that out.

The life of Haaretz

A study published this week suggested, once again, that people who talk a lot about sex are not having a lot of sex. In other words, the people at Haaretz must not have very exciting lives.

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