The white rhinoceros from Ramat Gan

In the middle of the week, something happened at the Ramat Gan safari that stirred a lot of excitement among aficionados of this sort of thing: A white rhinoceros, also known as a square-lipped rhinoceros -- an endangered species -- gave birth to a female calf. The safari management was pleased to inform the media of this rare occurrence. They told reporters of their involvement in a worldwide effort to save this endangered species, and that to further that end, the calf's two older male siblings will soon be transported to zoos abroad. The female calf will be kept in Israel, with us.

I should mention that researchers have discovered that thousands of years ago, rhinoceroses roamed in the Israeli wild as well. Unlike today, when rhinoceroses are confined to the safari, back then they could be found at the offices of the Haaretz newspaper and on central Rothschild Avenue in Tel Aviv, but they have become extinct. Which reminds me of another type of animal that once lived in Israel: crocodiles (in "Nahal Taninim" -- literally: crocodile stream).

All this brings us to the story about the Israeli who went to bathe at the beach near the mouth of Nahal Taninim river. As he entered the water he yelled to the lifeguard: "It is pretty strange that they call this place crocodile stream. Do you have any idea why there are no crocodiles here-"

"Because every time a crocodile comes," the lifeguard yelled back, "it gets eaten by a shark."

In any case, let us go back to the Israeli rhinoceroses for a moment: The birth of the rhinoceros calf immediately calls to mind the famous Eugene Ionesco play "Rhinoceros," which deals with conformity. In Hebrew, if someone is described as having "become a rhinoceros" they are said to be following the herd without any independent thought. Indeed, many of the Israeli rhinoceroses, belonging to the square-lipped species, are displaying the symptoms of "becoming a rhinoceros": They all talk the same and think the same. Over the last two weeks, for example, the square-lipped rhinoceros continuously repeated references to a "sour feeling" regarding the operation in Gaza. It was as though they are not familiar with any other combination of words. Maybe they really aren't.

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Incidentally, the white rhinoceros isn't really white. It is only a bit lighter than the other species of rhinoceros. Most rhinoceroses are closer to the color beige, like the color of U.S. President Barack Obama's new suit.

The American media was abuzz this week at the sight of Obama's latest fashion choice. The U.S. president appeared wearing a suit that looked like it was bought at the fanciest boutique in the Palestinian city of Nablus (it must be acknowledged that Obama's new fashion sense certainly falls into the Romanian category as well).

But wait, who says this fashion choice is a new thing? So far, it seems that Obama has long been a fan of Gaza couture.

Don't they know-

United Nations peacekeepers fled danger in Syria this week and were taken to safety in Israel. Don't they know that the U.N. has condemned Israel's war crimes hundreds of times, while having condemned Syria only once? According to their logic, it would have been far safer for the peacekeepers to remain in Syria, wouldn't it-

Ideology is not dead

About four years ago, American intellectual Daniel Bell died. Bell was probably most famous for his collection of essays "The End of Ideology: The Coming of Post-Industrial Society and the Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism." Bell envisioned a new world in which society would rid itself of ideologies and religions. In their stead, he saw a technology-based society founded on information services.

Thirty years after the book was written, when the Soviet Union began to collapse, American political scientist and Soviet culture expert Francis Fukuyama wrote a book entitled "The End of History and the Last Man." He represented the general spirit of the time -- an optimistic hope that the collapse of the Soviet bloc would march the world toward a unified, Western, democratic liberal capitalism.

Can academics with the mannerisms of intellectuals be trusted? Well, as the Islamic State group makes a bigger and bigger splash, Muslim ideology appears to refute the theory that ideology as a concept is over. Instead of a New Middle East, a band of beheaders is thriving alongside the Hamas leaders who declare again and again that "we love death like Jews love life."

Which brings us to the story about the Christian, Muslim and Jew who were talking about their Buddhist friend who had died. They talked and talked and ended up asking each other: "When you die, just as they put your body in the ground, what would you like to be said-"

The Christian said, "I would like people to say that I was a good Christian and a good family man."

The Muslim said, "I would like people to say that I was a good Muslim and that I made pilgrimages to Mecca."

The Jew said, "I would like people to say, 'Look, he's moving.'"

At its heart, a wall

This week a wall was erected in the middle of a school in Beit Shemesh so that ultra-Orthodox girls would not be able to see the secular students. The following day, after the wall was taken down, the ultra-Orthodox community protested the move by bringing the girls to study outside the school, in the street, without any walls at all, and plenty of secular people all around. Now it all makes sense.

What else would they do-

The director of the Government Advertising Agency has filed a police complaint alleging that he received serious threats for failing to post enough advertisements in the ultra-Orthodox newspaper Hapeles. This reminds me of a story (originally by Rabbi Altar Druyanov) about a family from a small Jewish town that operated a shop. One day, the wife came to visit her husband at the shop and found a gang of Cossacks robbing the place. While the robbery was in session, the husband sat in the corner and studied Talmud.

"The Cossacks are robbing the shop!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Her husband slowly raised his gaze from his book and asked: "What do you want them to do? Study Talmud-"

Curbing the trend

This week another IDF soldier asked for his girlfriend's hand in marriage in front of his commrades. If this trend continues, the soldiers won't have any time left to fight. Therefore, in efforts to curb the trend, the IDF is warning its troops: Anyone who participates in public marriage proposals will be compelled to attend the rabbinical court for the divorce proceedings as well.

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